Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Hi All!

Welcome to "In My Dreams . . ." Story time! Come on in and make yourself comfortable. There is plenty of room. There are some spots down front. Don't be shy! Okay! Is that everyone? All comfortable? Good! Let's start today's story.

Today's story is called "The Toilet Paper Caper."

When I first graduated from college and began my teaching career, I could only find jobs substituting in different districts so I was really, really hurting for money. Luckily, my parents allowed me to move back in with them while I went through this stage of my career. It worked out pretty well.

However, after about a year, my parents moved . . . to Saudi Arabia! That is right, they left the country! My dad told everyone he could prior to the move that they were going because I wouldn't leave their house. In actuality, they went to Saudi to teach at the Saudia Airlines School in Jeddah. Mom taught music to elementary kiddos and Dad was the Principal of the upper school. They had been wanting to teach overseas for several years and finally got the opportunity so they took it.

They left me in their house, rent free! Great, huh? All I had to do was take care of the house and yard and pay the bills (with their money if they were their bills). Simple. Well, factor in the acre of land and the large amount of trees which have MILLIONS of leave. Also consider that Mom is a avid gardener and had several flowerbeds. That makes things a bit more complicated.

Still, it was a good deal for me - and for them.

During this time I enjoyed shopping at odd hours, usually later in the evening, when there were few customers and I could finish quickly and get out of there.

Well, one evening, probably between 10:00 and 11:00 P.M. I went to the grocery store. There was only one other customer in the store, a man who looked well dressed and seemed nice. We were on the opposite side of the store most of the time so we never interacted too much. I think I said "hi" when we passed once. That was about it.

Anyway, I had pretty much finished my shopping when I remembered that I needed toilet paper. I headed to the toilet paper aisle and debated over which size to get - the four pack or the huge, honkin' twelve pack. Knowing that I hated running out of toilet paper, I chose the huge pack of twelve. Into my cart the enormous pack went and I headed off to check out.

The cashier, bag boy, and I chatted while I was checked out. They were bored almost stiff because there wasn't much to do at that time of night. Little did we all know but, the evening was about to get much more interesting!

As I walked away from the cashier, I noticed that the other customer, the man, was also finished paying for his items and was headed to the door too. This was a slight problem because two people, one with a cart full of goodies (me) and one carrying two bags (him) couldn't fit through the door at the same time. I decided to wait until he went out so I stopped my cart and motioned him on. He smiled his thanks and headed out the door. His path took him right past my cart with my big pack of toilet paper stuck right on top of everything.

Imagine my shock when this man suddenly grabbed my toilet paper and took off out the door!

The bag boy, after a moment's hesitation (probably due to disbelief) ran out after the man but couldn't catch up with him. The manager, who had witnessed the entire event, came up and asked if the man had really stolen my toilet paper. Soon, all of the workers in the place were gathered around me talking about my stolen toilet paper. How embarrassing!

After a little bit, the store manager sent the bag boy to get me a new pack of toilet paper and I went home, still a bit dazed. I couldn't figure out why the man had stolen my toilet paper when he could have just gotten his own! Weird!

From that time on, for several months, each time I went grocery shopping, cashiers asked me if I was the "toilet paper woman." Charming name, isn't it? Even people who hadn't been there that night had heard the bizarre tale of the stolen toilet paper. I could literally hear the buzz of whispers whenever I entered the store. So good for the self esteem, don't you think?

Many people, upon hearing this story doubt its authenticity but, I ask you - how could someone make this stuff up?

Yes, this is a totally true story. It is only one example of why I honestly believe that Murphy from Murphy's Law has to be in my family tree!

Okay! That is it for story time today! I hope you enjoyed it and will come back for our next story time. Feel free to browse around the blog before leaving.


Voice Update: Speech today! I will let you know how it went tomorrow!


Flea said...

OMG! This had me laughing OUT LOUD! Too funny! Who DOES that?

Mental P Mama said...

That is a funny one. The toilet paper lady! I guess it could have been worse. Like, you could be the Tampax lady. Or the Depends Lady. See? Aren't you glad I stopped by?

noble pig said...

That is seriously the best story ever, I laughed so hard! Good one.

womaninawindow said...

HA! I didn't see where that was going. I thought when he walked by he'd have toilet paper hanging outta his pants but then I was wondering about the relevancy of your toilet paper. This, my dear, was a fun one! HA! Toilet paper lady!

Ecolo said...

This story was wonderful. It made me laugh! Thanks.

Mama Goose said...

Snort!! Thanks for the laugh!!

Katy said...

The way you started the post reminds me of how you used to try to get all 24 of us settled in and quiet in the Kiva to play 20 Questions or read to us... It's very teacher-ish :)

I found the link to your blog today on Facebook and have been reading- I had no idea what you'd been through! I had heard that you lost your voice and had to stop teaching, but that's all. I'm so sorry, and I wish you all the best in learning to be a translator!

Katy Seloff ('02-'03)