Tuesday, July 26, 2011

How Do They Find Me?

Hi All!

Just a brief check-in. My life is still a bit "out of the ordinary" at the moment but I did do laundry today so that was a touch of normalcy!

Anyway - my "distraction" will be over soon (I hope) so I wil be back to being a better blogger!

I just stopped by today to ask "How in the world do those spammers find me?" I mean, my little blog isn't read by too many people (as demonstrated by my low comment numbers . . . . just sayin'!) and it certainly isn't discussing things on the "hot topic" list so - just how in the world do the escort services, the drug pushing people, and the filth mongers find me?

Now, luckily, I must approve all comments before they appear on my blog so you don't "get" to see all of the interesting comments but . . .really! How many comments do I need saying things like "The topic you discuss helped me on my paper. I want to read more about the same." and "Thank you for your post. Most interesting?" Let's get real!

To all of those spammers out there - LEAVE MY POOR LITTLE BLOG ALONE!

That is all for today!


Voice Update: Doing surprisingly well. I did have one evening where I talked too much and my voice showed it but, other than that, I am doing wonderfully!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

A Bit Distracted of Late

Hi All!

So sorry that I have been M.I.A. lately. No - the bad, bad medication is not back and no, I didn't have to abandon the house because the AC wasn't fixed. In truth - I am just having some adventures and have been a bit distracted lately. Being distracted isn't good for blogging, apparently!

Anyway - an update on the AC situation - well, we now are the proud owners of another air return vent. This addition made the air conditioner run much quieter but it did not stop the "revving" which it was intended to stop. Now Hubby and I are trying to determine if it is worth the hassle to have the AC guys (whom I now know by name) around the house even more or not. Maybe we can just live with it as it is. If now - we will contact the "boys" again once my distracted phase is over.

Luckily, during the most recent AC adventure, both cats stayed firmly embedded in their hiding places so neither raced out the door and both are safe. Miss Cleo did come out of hiding for a bit when the noise level decreased and looked absolutely bewildered when the door opened and a strange man walked in. Poor little girl! At least that is done for a while (or at least until Hubby and I decide what exactly to do about the AC now!).

As you may remember, the last time I posted I told about getting my hair cut. Well, I am continuing to grow my hair from its VERY short style (sported on my profile pictures for Blogger!) into a nice bob. It is frustrating! The bit of hair around my left ear isn't quite covered up by the longer bit from the top and to prove that it is still showing, it likes to stick straight out from my head! NOT a good look!

The hair around the ear on my right side doesn't have to resort to such measures as it is covered by hair from the top. Somehow the top hair is a bit uneven!

When I asked my hairdresser about that annoying bit of hair, she was hesitant to cut it (I wanted her to just shave the bit so it wouldn't stick out) so, being the wimp that I am, I am still contending with the sticking out. Talk about something making you want to just shave your head.

For the moment I just have to keep chanting "It WILL get better. It WILL get better!"

That is it for now - my distraction is returning (no - it isn't a real person!). I will try to post a bit more in the near future!


Voice Update: Despite doing a bit more talking than is probably wise and getting a little hoarse, my voice is doing very well. I am trying to keep up with my massage despite being distracted by things. So far - so good!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Short and Sweet

Hi All!

Well, the AC guys are back up in my bonus room trying to fix the problem with the NEW AC unit that we got two weeks ago (maybe three by now). The problem - so they say - is that the system isn't getting enough return air so o o oo . . . . they are putting another air return in.

That means a hole in the wall and lots of thumping and banging and who knows what else. Wonderful!

At least (maybe) this will fix the problem (fingers crossed!). I can't recall if I told you about the problem or not. The new system - which was supposed to be so quite that you "hardly notice it when it is on" was as loud as a freight train. Also, the two phase motor was supposed to "ramp up" when needed. Instead, the motor sort of "revs" so that the air blows hard, then soft, then hard, then soft . . . you get the idea! Anyway - the problem might be that the system isn't getting enough return air from our two existing air returns. SO - they are putting in a third.

If this doesn't fix the problem I don't know what I will do. I am sick and tired of seeing Mike (the AC guy)!

In other news - didn't walk or swim today since I had to hang at home to await the arrival of the AC guys. I did play the piano (it didn't go well today) while I waited though. I guess that is a good thing!

Tomorrow I don't know if I will get a chance to blog in the morning since I have a hair appointment. This is how the "growing out" is doing so far.
Just so you know - this was taken after swimming before shower and without benefit of any comb (or makeup) action!


Not too bad, right?


The only real problem I have with with the "flippy" stuff that you can see in the right side of the picture in the vicinity of my ears. This is hair that is short and has been kept short while waiting for the top to grow down to meet it. Apparently, this hair feels that it needs to show itself through the longer hair and absolutely refuses to lay flat!

Do you see this? This was taken the last time the AC guys were here. I managed to corral the kitties in the guest room and they felt confident enough to peer out the window (before they guys started thumping and thudding upstairs).


Today I didn't even think about getting the cats into a "safe" room. So - Skor is hiding under the bed in our bedroom and Miss Cleo is in her classic hiding spot behind the couch.


I told the guys to make sure that the door is closed in case a cat decides to bolt but I think they are both hidden for good - at least until they guys are done.



I wish it was this time of the day already and all of this was already done!



Voice Update: Doing really well. I actually did about fifteen minutes to twenty minutes of oral reading last night to the kitties during our pet-fest. They seemed to enjoy it.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Morning After the Storm

Hi All!

Another morning of swimming! Yeah! Of course, this morning I woke up with a stiff neck and a sore wrist so I decided to drive to the pool instead of walking (really, I was just feeling lazy!). I did 18 laps. One more than yesterday!

As I sit an type this I should be in my car on my way to see Doc Feely. However, as you may notice, I am NOT in the car. After much debate last night (the "storm") I finally got Hubby to agree that I shouldn't go back to see Doc Feely after the whole medicine fiasco of the past months. For some reason, Hubby was adamant that I keep my appointment with Feely. Of course, I was just as adamant that I shouldn't keep the appointment.

Anyway - the debate ended late at night with both of us pretty much worn out. That lead to a less than wonderful morning.

Don't worry - we are still happy together and love each other - we just weren't at our best this morning after staying up later than we normally would. And - I am happy to say that after our debate we are both on the same page about Doc Feely even though I am much more angry about the situation that Hubby. I was the one who went through everything while he was just observing from the outside!

Lately I have been hemming pants for Hubby. He is a bit height challenged and so when he buys pants he can never find the perfect length. After years of telling him that I can hem the pants for him - he finally has agreed.

Actually - he has let me hem pants for him for the past couple of years.

However, he is very, very paranoid about me getting the pants too short. He insists on checking the length before and after the hemming to ensure that they are "just right." What a picky guy! Considering he is saving a fortune in tailor fees!

So - I have been hemming pants. In some ways it is soothing to work upstairs by myself. Sewing is rather repetitive so it can be soothing by itself.

Today I have one last pair of pants to hem and then a shirt to hem (Hubby doesn't like shirts to have a "tail"). Then I get to have some fun by making a patch for one of Hubby's shorts. He picked out fabric for the patch.



Voice Update: Doing really well but still not talking as much as I probably should. I wonder if I need to get back into the habit of talking to myself again!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tuesday Thoughts

Hi All!

Another day, another walk and another swim. The walk was ridiculously sweaty! I guess that is bound to happen when it is in the upper 80s at 7:00 A.M.! The swim was heavenly. The water was nice and cool (they must be adding water every morning to keep it cool) and I had the pool all to myself. I upped the lap count by one to 17 (!) and it felt good. I feel stronger each day I swim.

Of course, then I have to walk home and get all sweaty again!

Watering the flowers helps a bit since I can "accidentally" spray myself when I get too hot.

Mom pointed out that I didn't tell you all that I did buy a new oven to replace the clean, dead one. It has to be ordered because I am terribly unfashionable and want white instead of stainless steel (all of my other appliances are white and I don't want mismatched appliances AND I just don't fancy stainless steel too much. I know - that makes me a bit of a freak but . . . they just remind me too much of industrial cafeterias!). Anyway- the oven will be here - eventually! Until then it is a bakeless life for Hubby and me!

Speaking of Hubby. Last night he said something that triggered a memory for me.

We were watching a show called something like "Rick's Restorations" or something. Anyway - the man who does the restorations, Rick, apparently fascinated Hubby. He said "That guy just seems like a neat guy. I like him."

That comment - the "neat" part - reminded me of hearing my dad, the high school principal, talk about this kid or that kid and say that they were "neat." He would always say this with such admiration that I wanted to be a "neat kid" too. I wanted someone to look at me and say I was a "neat kid" with admiration - the way my Dad said it about these other kids.

Now, I am not saying that this has been the guiding principle of my life - to be "neat-" but, it has always been there in the back of my mind somewhere. Even when I was messing up colossally (and I do everything in a big way!). I wanted to make a positive impression on someone, somehow.

For a long time, I thought that I would make an impression as a teacher. I thought that parents and kiddos would look back on their time in my class and think that I was a "neat" teacher. Well, I am not really sure that I met that mark. Yes, I do have many students who still remember me fondly but did they think I was "neat?" I just don't know.

Once the whole teaching thing was taken from me due to my "dance" with SD, I found myself floundering in so many ways. In the midst of trying to deal with my voice and its sudden demands on my time and consciousness, I struggled with wanting to do something that people would appreciate and admire.

During my most intense dance with SD I was dedicated to spreading the word about SD to people. I started up a podcast to let people hear someone with an SD voice. Then I started this blog. The purpose for the blog was to talk about SD. Maybe, just maybe I could help someone with their own SD dance and they could (possibly!) think I was "neat."

However, both the podcast and the blog (at least the part focused on SD) lost momentum as my voice got better and more and more people expressed doubt about me even having SD. This really knocked the legs out from under me. I found myself struggling with all kinds of self-doubt and feelings of anger and frustration. I had worked so hard and so darn long to improve my voice and as soon as it was better (through the grace of God and a lot of hard work with a FABULOUS speech therapist) people had the nerve to tell me to my face that they thought I was a fake!

Definitely not thinking I was "neat," were they?

After much self-examination, I decided to veer away from my SD mission. Yes, I still have SD. I STILL HAVE SD. It won't go away. Even though my voice is WONDERFUL, I still have SD. Just stress me out or make me upset and you will hear the SD come right in to lead the dance!

Now I am trying, once more, to find something to do with my life that might make a favorable impression. A lasting impression. I am training to be an American Sign Language Interpreter. Sign language fascinated me and I like being able to communicate with Deaf people. However, I find myself struggling. Is this really what I should be doing? This summer, with its medicine issues, has kept me from really working on my ASL skills (which really need work!). Now I am thinking . . . is this the way I want to go? Will I ever be able to do this?

Am I just trying to do something that other people will think is "neat" or am I doing something that I really like?

Can't people just think I am "neat" because of who I am? Does it have to be dependent on what I do?


Voice Update: I am pleased to say that I am back on top of the game with my massage. I haven't been doing too many exercises and I probably should be since I am not really talking to many people (and thus exercising my voice) this summer. It seems like there is always something else I "should" be doing! However, it is all worth it in the end if my voice keeps rockin' and rollin' right?

Monday, July 11, 2011

A Cleaning Casualty

Hi All!

Swimming this morning was wonderful! The water was cool and the weather was warm (VERY warm!!!). I managed to do sixteen laps AND also walked to and from the pool! A good morning workout! Of course I was sweating buckets by the time I got home. A perfect excuse to spray myself while watering my flowers!

Cleaning has never been one of my favorite things in the world. It just seems like there is always something more important to be doing than cleaning. Now I have proof that cleaning is actually BAD!

You see - I cleaned our oven the other day.

This is the oven that came with our house and it has only been spot cleaned during the past eleven plus years. Both Hubby and I have agreed that this is all the thing needed. If something we baked leaked and dripped we cleaned it up. This wasn't the perfect solution since we had some "interesting" odors a time or two but, it worked for us.

Then I made a pizza which decided to spew all over the oven!

Looking at the mess, I decided that I might as well break down and actually clean the oven.

Now, our oven has the "auto clean" feature so I tried it out. I took the racks out and turned on the cleaning feature. Five and a half hours later it was done. About seven hours later I looked into the oven and was less than impressed with the cleaning job.

So . .. I got myself down and dirty and actually started cleaning the darn thing by hand. It came out really well. I am impressed (still!).

Then I tried to turn on the oven to bake some bread.


The oven had been "acting" up for the past couple of months so, initially, I thought this was just another part of the dramatics. I turned the oven off and tried again.


By now, Hubby decided to get into the action.

He turned the oven on.


He turned it off and tried again.


He got down and "jiggled" the heating element.


He dug out the manual and accused me of getting the heating element messed up while cleaning. He took the element to the local "appliance guru" and had it tested. It was fine.

Back home, Hubby put the heating element back in and tried again.


He decided to try the broiler (different element!).


The oven is officially dead.

I KNEW that cleaning wasn't good for things!


Voice Update: Doing really well!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Welcome to the Wall!

Hi All!

As you might know, I have had more energy this week than I have had in a long, long time. I have been able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I have been able to run faster that a speeding bullet . . . no, wait. That isn't me.

Personally, I have been able to get up with Hubby in the morning and stay up. I have been able to go swimming in the morning without worrying about falling asleep in the water and drowning! THAT, my friends is what I have been able to do.


It now seems that I have hit the proverbial wall.

Yesterday I got up with Hubby and felt tired. Still MUCH better than I did several weeks ago but, tired. Instead of walking to the pool I actually drove. The entire time there and back I felt like I was cheating by not doing the walk part as well. Yes, I did an extra ten minutes of swimming and an extra five laps but . . . still guilty!

Then, after returning from swimming I was TIRED. I could hardly keep my eyes open while IMing with Mom. Not normal for my post-medicated state.

I ended up taking a long nap yesterday and not really doing much of anything. All evening long I was tired as well.

What is up?

Am I just suffering a kind of a "rebound" from having so much energy earlier this week?

Am I coming down with some illness?

Is someone sneaking those darn pills into my food?

Last night I slept well despite the long nap during the day and this morning I am still a bit tired. I am hoping that this is just sort of a reaction to suddenly doing all kinds of stuff after not really doing anything for such a long time.

What do you think?


Voice Update: Doing really well. I am proud to say that my neck is loosened up nicely and my voice is smooth as silk. Now to get the knots out of my shoulders!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

While I Was Sleeping . . . .

Hi All!

First of all, today was my THIRD day being awake in the morning! YEAH! It was my SECOND day of walking and swimming. I am feeling like I am getting back to my "normal" life!

Thought I would show you some of the things that happened during my "Sleepy Time."

We got both of our H/AC units replaced. Of course, it was during the summer. And in Texas. Just think about that for a minute!

First of all, the guys showed up in two trucks and started unloading stuff.

They also pulled out our old units.

They had to replace the outside units - complete with replacing the old plastic bases with concrete! This is Jose - he did a lot of the outside work.
Another truck showed up to haul the old units away to be recycled.

The trucks reminded me of clown cars. There was just so much stuff packed into them!

We got changed over to four inch filters at the unit instead of the thinner filters at the returns.

There was a lot of metal hanging out waiting to be installed.

As the day wore on it got hotter (it was actually pretty cool in the morning) especially in the attic!

Lots of tools were used - even some that I couldn't figure out.
Jose is just about done with the outside units!

By the end of the day I was extremely sweaty (however, I wasn't even close to as sweaty as the guys were!) and cranky! Luckily, Hubby agreed to take me out to eat and we went to the coldest restaurant that we could find. By the end of the meal I was cool and ready to go home to our new system and a cool house!

We do have one slight problem with our new AC. Instead of being quiet and smooth when working, the unit sort of "revs." Low to high and then back again. It is loud and not right. We called the guys back and they are investigating the fact that we may need another air return in the house.


So many issues!

However, we are cool!


Voice Update: Not a whole lot to say except that I am working on my massage and getting it up to par.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Come On In - The Water's Fine!

Hi All!

Just an update on the doctor front - I asked my endocrinologist for the name of a good internist and I will try out the person she gave me a bit later this summer.

This morning I am awake again! Yeah! While I didn't sleep quite as well last night as I did Sunday night, I got enough sleep to actually feel up to walking AND swimming this morning! True, my walking was a little slower than it has been and my swimming wasn't as many laps as last summer but I walked and swam and survived!

I am even still awake after doing all of that plus watering!


Hopefully this good streak will just keep getting better.

Yesterday, after a really strong and positive start, I did end up winding down a bit in the evening feeling very tired. It was a good tired though - not a drug induced tired. That is a good thing!

Today I don't have any plans. I think I will kick back and read a bit, play the piano a bit, and goof off for a bit. Sound fun?


Voice Update: Since I have a bit more energy these days I am getting back to some massage. That should keep my throat flexible. Now to get the big knots out of my shoulders and the sides of my neck!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Emerging - Continued!

Hi All!

Well, I am back from the endocrinologist and ready to get back to the "interesting" story of my life of late.

By the way - my doctor's visit went well over all. I need to lose weight (what a shocker) and will be switching some meds around to try to deal with things in a different way but other than that, super, duper! It is so good to have a doctor who actually listens!

So . . . the story.

Where was I? Oh, right. From bad to worse.

Doc Feely switched me onto the anti-psychotic. I certainly didn't feel depressed and I never felt anxious while on the medication. That is primarily because I was so darn tired all the time that I was lucky to stay awake 6 hours out of every 24!

Normally, I am a morning person. I wake up ready to go and in a good mood. However, with this med, I woke up (sort of) feeling more like a zombie than a real person. I had problems keeping my eyes open long enough to make Hubby's lunch. In fact, some mornings I just couldn't drag myself out of bed to do even that!

This was quite a blow to me since I had been looking forward to walking and swimming (!!) each morning. Now I could barely walk through the house let alone to the swimming pool. Even if I was able to make it to the pool, there was no way I could swim safely by myself. I was terrified that if I tried I might fall asleep while swimming and drown or that I would suddenly be too tired to make it to the edge. Not a good thing!

Like I said - this was for sixteen days. That was how long I had samples of this medication for. On the seventeenth day I was back in Doc Feely's office for a check up. I told him about being bone tired. His reaction? To merely decrease the dose and tell me that I would eventually "get used to it."

Heartened by the idea that perhaps the lower dose would make things better, I left the office and filled the prescription for the lower dose.

Then I took the medication and waited. And waited.

Not too surprisingly, the change in dose did little to improve my tiredness. Sure, now I could stay up for ten hours a day or so but I still couldn't drag myself out of bed in the morning without much effort. In fact, the best way for me to get going was to sleep until about noon. Then I could get up and do stuff around the house.

At least until after dinner when I took the next dose of medication. From that point on, I just got more and more tired until I fell asleep and slept like a rock all night (yes, even after sleeping until noon during the day!).

Sleeping like a rock was sort of nice since I have always been a very light sleeper and have perpetually had difficulties actually falling asleep. With this med there was no difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. It was the waking up that was a problem!

In addition to the sleepiness I was dealing with mental fogginess when I was awake as well as some "disconnectedness" where my mind and my mouth just couldn't seem to set in sync. I would be thinking stuff but couldn't get the words out. I even forgot words at times. NOT like me at all! Beyond the mental stuff I also started to get "restless joints." My knees and elbows felt like they were full of tension and the only way to get rid of the tension was to move, move, move.

Not too much fun when trying to fall asleep but even this didn't keep me from falling asleep quickly!

During the time of the "lowered" dose my parents came to visit.

Normally, I love when my parents visit. I go shopping with my mother and walk in the mornings. I stay up late talking to them and generally having a good time. This visit, however, was a bit different.

I did walk with my mother in the mornings but would then be forced to take a three hour nap as soon as I got back to the house to prevent becoming a nasty person due to being tired. When I was awake I didn't really feel like doing too much. I was too tired. When we did actually do something, I had to really push myself to do it. I also had to watch myself closely to keep my crankiness from rearing its head too much (I get remarkably cranky when I am tired!).

Not fun!

By the time my parents went back home I was feeling horrible. I feel like I was cheated out of a real visit with my parents. I also feel horrible that they came all this way and then I ended up sleeping most of the time.

Now, please don't think that I just let this period of extreme sleepiness and fogginess fly under Doc Feely's radar. I sent him an email documenting the side effects I was feeling (and including my speech therapist's concerns about the mental fogginess being neurological and not being a good mix with my SD - also neurological). The email listed everything that was going on and asked if these were "normal" side effects. True, I didn't really say that I wanted off the meds but I was hoping that with so many problems, Doc would come to that conclusion himself.


The email I got back simply copied my question about these all being side effects and said "Yes. Take a walk every day and you will be better."


I was stunned that this was the only response I got back from a DOCTOR who had given my anti-psychotics!

After digesting this response for a few days (so that I didn't respond with too much anger), I emailed again asking if he was serious. I also told him that this was a reason I didn't give him too much feedback between visits.

His response? Two words. Yes (meaning he was serious) and no (meaning he wasn't surprised that I didn't tell him much between visits).

Two words.

Two. Words.


Talk about depressing! I was rapidly reaching the end of my rope. I felt hopeless. Like my life would get no better and, if it didn't, it wasn't really worth living. The deep pit of depression opened up before me just inviting me to jump in and wallow.

I will admit that I did a little wallowing while trying to figure out what in the world to do.

I also talking to my parents and to my friend, Donna.

Both my parents and Donna told me to stop taking the medication since it was obviously messing me up. I contemplated this for long hours (well, the hours I was awake). I finally decided that I was going to quit the meds.

Then I told Hubby. I had been relaying everything to Hubby about my side effects and Doc's emails and how I was feeling. He wasn't happy. He was very upset that I was so depressed and upset but he still couldn't bring himself to accept that I would stop taking meds that Doc had prescribed. After a rather heated exchange over dinner one night, I relented and agreed to continue taking the meds.

This was the lowest point during this entire experience.

Suddenly, the hopeless situation became even more so. I was going to be condemned to live like this for the rest of my life.

Talk about depressed.

I did start walking each evening (I would prefer to walk in the morning when it is cooler but - I couldn't get myself up to do that. That meant that I had to walk in the evening so I could avoid the sun.) Feeling bad for me, Hubby started walking with me.

During our walks Hubby started noticing that I was bone tired. Some evenings I could barely drag myself to the end of our normal walking route. He also noticed that my mood was depressed and that I didn't have any of my old "spark."

After less than a week, Hubby told me that he wanted me to stop taking the medication. He told me that he didn't want me to be a "zombie." He told me that anything would be better than having me feel like I did on the meds.


With the support of Hubby, I stopped the meds cold turkey (probably not the right way to do this but do you think I was going to email Doc Feely and ask his advice on weaning myself off???). That was last Friday. The last pill I took was Friday after dinner (we didn't have our talk about stopping until our walk later in the evening).

For the first time in a long time, I felt a glimmer of hope.

On Saturday morning it was business as usual - remember, I had taken the meds the night before. However, I didn't take any meds on Saturday so Sunday morning I was much more awake than I have been for months! Not quite normal, mind you, but much better. The only bad thing was that I couldn't fall asleep at night. In fact, I think I only slept three hours Saturday night.

Sunday night wasn't much better. I ended up "playing" on the computer until about 4:30 A.M. then tossing and turning for another hour or so. I drifted into sleep only to be awakened by Skor at 6:20 or so. After making sure the cats had food and taking my meds (NOT the anti-psychotic causing all the trouble) I went back to bed for about an hour before being woken by a phone call from my dad. He was trying to get his phone system worked out.

I stayed up to chat with Mom on IM and then took a short nap. I was determined not to sleep all day since I was already having problems sleeping at night.

By Monday night I was exhausted. Hubby and I took our evening walk and I kept myself up longer than usual on purpose.

Then, miracle of miracles, I slept!

I actually slept!

Now, I didn't sleep really well but, I actually fell asleep with little trouble and slept!

This morning I woke up feeling better than I have felt in months. I felt awake and bright and full of enthusiasm! I even found myself dancing along to music from a podcast as I got dressed!

What a difference!

Hopefully, this is a sign of things to come and this entire, horrible experience will be behind me forever!

Did I mention that I am looking for a new doctor?



Hi Everyone!

It has been a LONG, LONG time since I last posted and there have been some . . . well, let's call them "interesting," things which have interfering with my creative process.

Where to start? Where to start?

I guess the best place to start is the beginning.

The beginning of this rather "interesting" tale was around the end of April. That is when I went to see my general practitioner, Doc Feely. Now, Doc Feely isn't exactly my favorite doctor and is even less so after this "experience," but, he has been the doctor who has been giving me my "happy pills." As such, he insists on seeing me at least once a year (I guess to make sure that I am alive and to get that money!).

In April I told Doc that I wasn't feeling like my current "happy pills" were doing the job. Sure, I wasn't too depressed but . . . there were some side effects that I just wasn't going to deal with anymore. You must admit that night sweats each and every night can get a bit "wearing" after a while!

Anyway, I told Doc that I wanted to change things up. He agreed and was actually sort of excited. In his words he was ready to "experiment" with my meds.

That should have been my first warning.

However, I ignored it and went along with him. Trusting him.

Stupid me!

Well, the first change of meds coincided almost exactly with finals week. Imagine, if you will, changing medications that have an impact on your mood while trying to handle the stressed of finals. And, not any regular finals, finals with a teacher with whom I just couldn't "win."

Yes, it wasn't a walk in the park!

Add to the finals week a trip to Houston with three other students and boy, the fun ensues!

I survived that month but had some interesting anxiety attacks - like the one on the way to my hairdresser's for a hair cut! What? I love my hairdresser! Why would I be anxious to get a haircut?

This led to another change in medications. One which really started things spiralling into "interesting" land.

This time I was given a med which I later discovered was an anti-psychotic med used for people with Bi-polar disorder and other "serious" emotional problems. I don't think that, had I been aware of it at the time, I would have agreed to take this particular medication. I mean - I have depression but I am not Bi-polar or in need of anti-psychotic medication! Really!

So - off I went with samples for sixteen days.

Sixteen days in which things went from bad to worse.

To be continued . . .

(Don't you hate a cliff-hanger ending to something? I have to stop blogging right now so I can finish my preparations to head off to the doctor - NOT Doc Feely! This time is the endocrinologist! I LIKE this doctor!)

I will try to continue this story a bit later in the day but, if not, I will pick up tomorrow!

Hope you are all doing well during my "interesting" time!

I have missed blogging!


Voice Update: Doing remarkably well for what I have been going through. My neck has been a bit tight since I haven't been focusing on my massage or exercises but . . . I am still speaking and doing really well!