This morning I was snooping. I admit it! I went on Facebook and snooped in photos on other people's walls.
This is something I do now and again.
Normally, I do this to people who I have not communicated with for a long time. Yes, they are facebook friends but they never comment on my wall nor I on theirs. These people may be friends from long ago who "reconnected" with me on facebook or they may be casual acquaintances I have met more recently.
Today it was friends from the past. One from Junior high/ High school and one from college.
As I scrolled through pictures of children ready for the first day of school and family photos as well as photos from the past, I started musing on friendship.
Now, I have always had lots of friends. It seems like people like me and like to associate with me. However, most of these "friends" are what I would call "surface friends." By that I mean that they are friends who I chat with when the occasion arises and I may even do something with them (like dinner or a movie) but, they are not the kind of friends who come to my house and hang out. Not the kind of friends I spill my guts to. Not the kind of friends who really cares enough to give me a call when I seemingly fall off the face of the earth.
These "surface friends" might hang around for a while - years in fact - but they never really fill that friend space in my life. Some of these friends may even drift away almost before we become friends.
Some "surface friends," especially ones who have been in my life for years, cause me to look back and think "What if?"
What if we had made a deeper connection? What if they had responded to that Christmas card I sent? What if I had asked him/her to my house for dinner once or twice or had gone out with him/her more often?
Would those "surface friends" have become "real friends?"
In fact, some of the friends seemed like "real friends" at the time of our friendship and then drifted away like "surface friends." These friends give me pangs of regret when I snoop on their pages.
If we had stayed friends I might know the children in the photos and the friends shown grouped together at the restaurant.
I guess that is the way things work out, right?
It still makes me lonely for their friendships at times, though.
Voice Update: For some reason, my voice is a bit hoarse this morning. I do have more drainage and have been coughing up "gunk" left over from my "lovely" cold. I am sure that is what is going on. Just not fun to hear. Whenever my voice is less than perfect - even if I am the only one who can tell that it isn't perfect - I start to worry about ABSD coming back full strength again. I wonder if that fear will ever dissipate.