Insecurity Thugs on The Loose!

Hi All!

Okay - I have lost three games of Bejeweled and so I guess I should stop procrastinating and blog. Why am I procrastinating, you may ask? Well, to tell you the truth, I have hit a patch in my life where I feel control slowly slipping through my fingers.

This happens to me from time to time. The normalcy flees and leaves confusion and chaos in its wake. All of the things that I thought I had under control . . . not so much anymore! My emotions edge closer to the surface and I am likely to snap at people or to cry if you look at me sideways.

Does that ever happen to you?

The whole world is against me! Well, that is how I feel. The reality of the situation is MUCH different. You see, when I get into one of these "patches," my sense of reality is overtaken by thugs from the last outpost of insecurity in my personality. Suddenly these thugs wallop my confidence and have me second guessing everything I say and/or do. The normal confidence I have in my abilities is missing in action - I always picture confidence bound and gagged and shoved in a janitor's closet somewhere in an out of the way place in my brain.

If (and when) I take a step back, breathe deeply, and analyze the situation with clear eyes, I find that the thugs are just trying to scare me and that things are not as bad as they first seem.

For example, the things which have me "in a tizzy" at the moment? First of all, classes. To be honest, I am ahead in my classwork and am doing well. No cause for panic. Second, Destination Imagination. I have a ton of work to do for the tournament on March 7th. It seems like I will never get done. The truth of the matter is that I have done this so often that it doesn't take as long as I think it will. I have things down to a routine AND this year I actually have someone to help me! While I do have a lot to do, I know that I can handle it. (I hope!) Third, SD Support Group meeting this Saturday. Why would I worry about this? It is a chance for people to gather and discuss things that relate to SD. I am good at that! Besides, in this too I have someone to help me out! Finally, my podcast! I really, really, really, want to post a podcast in February since I haven't posted one since sometime in January. I have been so busy (sometimes busy procrastinating!) that I haven't had time to sit and get my act together to make a new podcast. Well, I have an idea now and can just do the recording. Simple.

See- nothing too terrible in that batch. A lot to do, yes but, nothing I can't handle.

Now if only I would remember to step back and breathe more often!

Trisha

Voice Update: Still a bit crunchy but getting better. I have started getting some nasty drainage in the evenings here which, as you may guess, doesn't help my voice too much. *sigh* It is always something! I am still doing well with the exercises and massage!