Thursday, December 27, 2012

Part 2 and Snow!

Hi All!

Welcome back!  I think you will see that the place is much neater (no more cobwebs or dust) and full of holiday cheer.  I still have a few truffles left so help yourself.

Believe it or not, I had a white Christmas!  This wouldn't be so surprising except for a couple things: first, I live in Texas; second, it hasn't been a white Christmas here since 1975!

The snow has been around for a couple days . . . it is slowly melting in places were the sun gets to it but with temps below 40 it might take a while!

Anyway - I want to continue with my story about where I have been.  I think the last time we talked I told you about the Seroquel zombification.

It was horrible.

After getting no support from good 'ole Doc Feely, I decided to stop taking the meds.  Cold Turkey.


Withdrawal is almost as bad as the zombification!

For two days I didn't sleep - at all.  In fact, I was over stimulated, hyper.  Then I got mean.

The best way I have found to describe this whole time period is that there are two sides of my brain (well, duh! I mean personality-wise in this case!).  One side is the logical, normal side of me and the other . . . is more of a rebel.  During the time after Seroquel - the rebel side of my brain took over and had the attitude of "Screw the whole world and everyone in it!"

NOT my normal personality!  I "watched" myself do and say things that I would normally never do or say and knew (in that logical side of my brain) that it wasn't right but . . . the rebel brain was in control and certainly wasn't going to listen to logic!

This "lovely" phase lasted for several (really about four or five) months and it was frustrating to me (and poor, darling Hubby!).  I didn't want to act the way I was acting but . . . I couldn't help it.  The logical side of my brain heard everyone telling me I needed to see a counselor or a psychiatrist but . . . since it wasn't even remotely in control . . . that wasn't going to happen.

Slowly (think a snail sleep walking!), I started to regain "myself" but I still wasn't "right."  I started to seriously think about getting professional help but . . . I was honestly terrified that the professional would put me on a med like Seroquel.  The thought of going back into a zombie-like state scared the pants off of me and made me very reluctant to seek help.

Hubby and I talked (and talked and talked . . . ) and I decided that I would seek help in January (2012).  I had a deadline.  Now, I only had to stick with it.

That is all for today . . .just another reminder - NEVER (and I DO mean NEVER EVER) stop taking medications cold turkey! Especially medications for depression or anxiety.  Trust me - you WILL NOT enjoy the withdrawal experience!

I hope that wherever you are, you are warm!


1 comment:

Chris H said...

Sheesh.... I am sorry you went through all that.

I stopped taking my anti-depressants cold turkey a while ago... and wondered why I was feeling really sick all the time... then I realised why!
Back onto them I went and I've been good ever since.

It is very hot here now, being summertime and all!

I would love to experience a White Christmas!