Mission Migraine - Chapter One

*****Okay - I haven't been able to sleep again and my stomach is protesting something so I got up and started writing. Here is the first bit. It isn't clear from this section what is happening - exactly but I think I might be able to fall asleep now so I am going to try. Hopefully more of this story will come at later dates. And hopefully it won't be at six in the morning after I have been up for four hours!


Mission Migraine

Chapter One

As the skeleton crew of the Control Room’s night shift quietly goes about its duties, he stands before the giant map, hands clasped loosely behind his back, feet firmly planted. His posture is deceptively relaxed as he studies the map displaying real time information from every sector. Red and blue dots course up and down large pathways and twist their way through smaller winding tracks which seem to meander without real direction. Numbers and codes constantly shift and change as new data arrives in the central Control Room and is transferred to the display.

Each change is quickly noted by his sharp, gray eyes but his immobile face reveals no hint of their import or lack thereof. He simply stands and takes it all in.

Gradually, a pale hint of dawn sweeps across the dual screens at the front of the Control Room. The weary night shift gives was to fresh faces as the morning shift takes their places in front of control panels, monitors, and keyboards. The quiet hush of the night are replaced with lively conversation and bursts of laughter as the workers greet each other and settle into their stations.

“Another long night, Ralph?”

With a grin the young man in the rumpled, blue uniform glances up and slowly rises from the chair where he has spent the last six hours. “Hey, Charlie. How’s it goin’?”

“Not bad, not bad. I am not looking forward to another long day of watching him stare at that map though. It is almost as bad as the pacing but, at least we get to sit while he stares.”

Stretching subtly, Ralph slowly works the knots out of his muscles from the long night of sitting. He looks at the man in front of the map who is still staring without moving.

“It has to end soon, Charlie. I don’t see how he can go on like this for much longer. He didn’t sleep at all last night and he barely ate anything. He has been living on coffee and adrenalin for the last three days. See if you can get him to eat something.”

With a grim smile, the older man nods. He starts to say something more but is interrupted by the sound of a nervous cough. He turns to see a young man, really more of a boy, standing behind him with a manila envelope in his hand and a pained expression on his face. When the youth realizes that Charlie is looking at him, he nervously clears his throat and stammers out, “Ummm. . . th –th-this is for the C-c-c-commander.”

He pushes the envelope into Charlie’s hands and then flees.

Ralph and Charlie share a chuckle before turning serious once more. They both look at the envelope and then to the Commander who is still in front of the map. Both men know that nothing good could come of whatever is in the envelope.

“Well. I guess I should be getting home.” Ralph says. “I hope your day isn’t too bad, Charlie. I will see you tonight.”

“Yeah, sure, Ralph. Tell that girlfriend of yours to send me some of her fabulous cookies the next time she makes them. They might help make my day better!”

Even as Ralph walks from the Control Room Charlie heads toward the map and the Commander. He notes that while the man appears relaxed at first glance, he is actually very tense. His jaw is clenched and his hands are balled into fists behind his back. A thin line of tension mars the smooth skin above his gray eyes and between the coal black eyebrows.

“Excuse me, Commander. This just came for you.”

The Commander turns and a brief smile plays with his mouth as he greets his long time aide. The smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you, Charlie.”

He take the envelope and carefully opens it to remove its contents. Quickly, he reads the information and then, with a frown, turns back to the map. “Sergeant Mullins, update the map to show the introduction of additional resistance to the system.”

“Yes, Commander,” comes the reply from a workstation across the room. Almost instantly a duo of green shapes flash onto the map tracing a downward path. The green shapes are in a collision course with a mass of black x’s grouped a bit further down on the same course.

Now the Commander abandons his position in front of the map and begins pacing the length of the Control Room. Charlie stands at attention off to one side waiting for his next instruction. He knows it won’t be pleasant.

“Charlie,” the Commander finally says in a barely audible voice. “Call a meeting for all department heads in the conference room immediately. I am going into my office. Meet me there. I am afraid it is starting.”

“Yes, sir.” Charlie watches the Commander leave the room before turning to a uniformed woman sitting at a bank of phones. “Sheila, please alert all department heads to meet the Commander in the conference room in ten minutes. Attendance mandatory.”

Without waiting for her response, Charlie briskly walks out of the room after the Commander. While he looks calm, a cold sweat had broken out along his spine and the collar of his neat, blue uniform suddenly feels too small. Resisting the urge to run a finger along the inside of his collar, the aide knocks at the Commander’s door before entering the room.

“The department heads have been notified and will be waiting in the conference room in approximately ten minutes, Commander.”
“Good, good,” the Commander says distractedly. He is shuffling notes on his desk adding quick comments here and there. He stops and looks up at his aide who is still standing in front of his desk.

“Go ahead and sit, Charlie. We have been together a long time, you deserve to know what is going to happen.”

Cautiously Charlie sits in one of the deep leather chairs facing the Commander’s desk. He has been the Commander’s chief aide for more than twelve years and has become a close friend to the man. This isn’t the first time the Commander has invited him to sit. Nor is it the first time that the two men have talked as friends rather than as boss and employee.

It is, however, the first time that they have talked about an upcoming event which might change their lives forever.

Interesting article about Spasmodic Dysphonia

Hi All!

Sort of a short post to tell you about this article about Robert Kennedy, Jr. This article addresses his SD and then goes on to explain a bit more about the disorder. I found it interesting!

Trisha

The Next American Idol???

Hi All!

I normally have strange dreams. Very strange dreams. They are so common in my life that I usually just shrug when I wake up and go about my business. However, every once in a while there are dreams that are just so bizarre that they stick with me for a while.

Like my dream about auditioning for American Idol.

First of all, you should know that I have ABSOLUTELY no desire to audition for American Idol. I never have. Sure, I used to do the whole theater thing when I was younger but I realized early that I enjoyed being backstage much more than being out there in the spotlight. I love to sing - but normally in groups or in the shower. In fact, I don't sing in public any more. The whole SD thing really took that away from me. However, I do sing along to my iPod when I am home alone. But, I digress.

Back to the dream.

In my dream Hubby and I were waiting (and waiting, and waiting, and waiting) for my audition for American Idol. We had gotten a letter (?!?) saying that we should show up in the morning so - there we were. We waiting for part of the time outside on a group of benches. We watched other people who were also waiting and even talked to some. They were an odd bunch, let me tell you! I really remember one girl who sat down between up and put her feet on Hubby's lap because she needed comforting after facing Simon in her audition! The nerve!

Later we moved inside to a nice little lobby section. The whole time I was running through songs in my head trying to decide what to sing. There was a little message board on the wall next to us where other contestants wrote notes and things. I remember one note from a person named "Shmoo" telling Helen that she was a "lock." Somehow I also think I was knitting while I was sitting there. Not really sure.

Apparently our seats were near the back entrance to the audition hall. Because it was warm in the hall the door was left open frequently. There were about a million people in there - okay, maybe not a MILLION but, there were a lot. There were the three judges and then a whole panel of stern looking people along the side who reminded me of the people waiting for the phones to ring at telethons. There was also a big table at the back where the two producers sat. These guys were right out of a magazine ad - they were gorgeous! Young GQ looking guys. They saw us out the door and let us come in and chat with them.

It was almost lunchtime so we asked when I was scheduled to audition. The producers called over a cute young girl with a green clipboard who flipped through a mountain of paper and told me "2:30." What? I had been told the morning and it was going to be 2:30 before I auditioned? Why? She explained that some of the other auditioners were having a hard time taking no for an answer and were having to be dragged from the room. That apparently took a lot of time and was really messing up the schedule.

After she left and the producers went out the door next to us to get some lunch, Hubby and I decided that we might as well get lunch too. We glanced out the door at the Burger King just across the surprisingly small parking lot. I was still trying to decide what to sing and if I should tell the judges that I have SD.

***Reality was beginning to sink into the dream - a sure sign that I am heading towards consciousness!

As Hubby and I were discussing if the judges would be able to hear my SD influenced singing and if we should sneak out to get a burger and some fries, I woke up. My kitty, Miss Cleo, was meowing in the bathroom - probably what woke me up.

What in the world does this dream mean? I don't even watch American Idol and certainly have no desire to audition! I am not a masochist and I think I am too old anyway. I do remember asking the producers if I could get work as a producer - I would be good at that. Is this a sign that I should enter the world of musical production??? A sign that I want a hamburger and fries?

A sign that my headache meds mess with my mind?

Trisha

Voice Update: Still trucking along with the exercises every thirty minutes. That darn timer is a bit annoying but it is getting so that even the cat doesn't jump when it goes off any more! I will admit that I didn't do as many exercises as I should have yesterday because I took a LONG nap in an effort to stem the headache (it didn't work). However, I did hang out in my bonus room and read while stopping to do exercises when the timer went off. I think I was up there for about two hours. I then took some more meds and another short nap when Hubby came home. I did more exercises between dinner and walking but had a very bad attitude about them - it was the headache talking!

Other People's Pictures and Other Miscellaneous Stuff

Hi All!

Well - the bad news is that I have a killer headache and am still cranky. The good news is that I am getting a haircut today so maybe that will help things a bit. I love haircuts - especially the shampooing part of the whole deal. I am not too fond of the tiny pieces of hair flying up your nose part but . . . those are just the things one must deal with to be beautiful.

I had speech on Wednesday and was told what I already knew - my voice was good but not as good as it has been before. I was given remedial voice exercises to do and a rigid schedule. Now I am doing inhale "e's" every thirty minutes. Not inhale/exhale - those are too "advanced" for what we are doing right now - just inhale. I do ten single "e's," ten double "e's," and ten triple "e's" with about thirty seconds of throat massage afterwards. All of this every thirty minutes. How time flies when you have a timer on. Oops. I haven't set the timer today. It must be the headache!

The subject of throat massage came up at speech - okay - I asked how I should explain it to everyone - and my therapist and I had a nice little chat. She gave me some places to look online to get a better idea of how to explain things. Of course I haven't done the research yet - I am blaming the headache. Darn convenient excuse, don't you think? Anyway - I will get on that and get a post and a podcast ready for you on that topic - if you are interested.

Yesterday was a lazy day. I decided to watch a movie I had Tivoed. It was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I have read all of the Harry Potter books - how could I not when I taught fifth grade during the time these books made their appearance? While some people don't like the books - I love them. They really appeal to my overactive imagination and I feel the movies are well done. Of course they don't have all the detail the books do but they are very respectable.

Anyway - I was watching the movie. Harry had completed the first two tasks in the triwizard championship. He had just entered the maze for the last task and found Fleur being sucked into the shrubbery. That was a bit scary. I don't remember if she survived or not. And - what was going on with Krum? He looked a bit . . . "odd" while in the maze. Just as Harry was running from something which was coming . . . the video stopped. Just plain stopped. The little message popped up asking if I was done with the recording and wanted to delete it.

Delete it? I wasn't done yet! I checked out the recording and found that for some inexplicable reason the last half hour or so of the movie hadn't recorded! Talk about a real downer! I will have to watch to see if it is shown again soon! I am sure it will. I hope it will! In the mean time I have decided to reread the whole series of Harry Potter books again to fill in the time until I can see the rest of the movie.

Frustrating.

Okay - here are some pictures that I pirated from my friend "Mo." You see, I went to her house last December to help her with a gingerbread house party for her Kindergarten aged son. It sounded like fun - and it was.

Mo was a little over the top though. First of all - she made each of the houses from scratch using a Pampered Chef cookie mold.

She made six little houses. They even had chimney pieces. She is just too ambitious. Did I mention that Mo also has a little one who was about a year old at this time? When did she find the time???

Anyway - Mo made the houses and the little Kindergartners descended upon them and proceeded to have a fun time. They used a lot of icing and all kinds of little candies. Look how intently Mo's young one is working! Of course, it seemed like most of the boys were having more fun decorating the yard around the houses than the houses themselves but . . .

I have no idea who this little one is but look how nicely he is decorating his house! He really got into it. He didn't even eat any of the candies until towards the end of the decorating. Mo didn't get any pictures of the finished projects so I can't show them to you in all their glory but let me tell you - they were spectacular!

It was a fun party. I just recommend that anyone trying this one yourself - go for the store bought houses!

Trisha

Voice Update: I have already told you about the exercises. My voice is getting stronger from the darn things so I can't complain too much. The cat is getting used to the weird "e" sounds and so is Hubby - again. I read out loud for about half an hour last night after we walked. I am still missing some unvoiced consonant sounds but my voice is getting stronger again. I just need to remember to lower the volume. The louder I try to be - the more strain I put on my voice.

I've Been Tagged!

Hi All!

A couple of days ago Flea tagged me for this lovely Meme so - here it goes. . .

I am supposed to ask a loved one to think of three random things about me. Well, I asked dear Hubby and the conversation was . . . interesting to say the least. Here is a synopsis.

Me: Hey, Honey?
Hubby: What?
Me: I am supposed to ask someone to list three random things about me and guess what? You are that someone.
Hubby: Huh.
(Long pause during which I think he has fallen asleep since I am asking him at about 11:30 P.M. and we are in bed.)
Hubby: What do you mean?
Me: Just that you should tell me three random things about me.
Hubby: Like what?
Me: I don't know - random things.
Hubby: WHAT?
(Long pause while Hubby thumps the mattress a few times.)
Hubby: Can I say you're cranky?
Me: Uh - sure.
Hubby: Can I say stubborn?
Me: sure.
(Pause while I wonder just how wonderful I must be acting these days!)
Hubby: Can I say smart?
Me: Of course.
Hubby: Good. That is three.
Me: Thank you.
Hubby: (unintelligible grunt and three whacks on the mattress which is code for "I love you."

I let him go to sleep then.

So - there you have it. Three random things about me from a loved one: cranky, stubborn, and smart. I am not certain how I feel about those three particular things being what Hubby came up with. Maybe I need to start being a bit more loving! Or I need to ask him these things before 11:30 at night!

Okay Flea - I did it! Now I am tagging a couple people.

I am tagging Coffee Bean, Sara, and Lauren. Only three from me!

Oh - I should remind people that for some reason you must say "Phtphtbt!" in the comment where you inform your "victims" that they have been tagged. Sounds like fun, huh?

Trisha

Cranky but with places to go, people to see.

Hi All!

I am cranky. I woke up that way. Probably because I didn't sleep well. Again. You see, I have this problem sleeping. Well, not really a problem with sleeping - I can sleep with the best of them - rather, a problem with falling asleep.

Falling asleep is something I do not excel in. At all.

A normal night, a "good" night, consists of me lying in bed for a good hour and a half listening to Hubby snoring away before dropping into wonderful slumber. A bad night . . . well, it can take upwards of three hours for me to drop off. The big problem is that my brain won't stop. I am tired and yearn for sleep but my brain decides that I should spend the time pondering the great imponderables in my life.

When am I going to get another job. Will I get another job? What was the name of that song I heard the other day? How could I cook things which I normally bake without using the oven and heating up the entire house? Would Hubby eat something I "baked" without using the oven? Do I need to clean out the fabric softener dispenser of my washing machine again (thanks to Coffee Bean for that thought!)? Shouldn't washing machines be self cleaning? How does fabric softener work? I need to get fabric for some hand warmers I am knitting for Christmas. I haven't knitted in a while. I should get that out again. I wonder if I have the right needles to knit those socks Aunt Donna sent the pattern for. Wasn't the cute nose warmer pattern I saw at the store made from a sock pattern? I wonder if anyone would actually use a nose warmer if I knitted them. Speaking of knitting, I need to fix my iPod cozy. Maybe it is time to buy a new cover for my iPod. Do I really want to spend money on that? Money. What was it that I wanted Hubby to buy for our anniversary? I know it cost something like $600. Now, what WAS it? And so on and so on and so on . . . .

You can see why sleep becomes an elusive goal.

People have given me all kinds of hints for falling asleep. Stay up reading until you feel drowsy (I get so into the book I will stay up all night - even if the book is boring!). Get out of bed and do something different until you feel sleepy (this works - until I am in bed again and still can't fall asleep). Just tell yourself to fall asleep (!!!! If this worked for me sleeping wouldn't be an issue!). Drink warm milk (THAT just sounds disgusting!). Eat/don't eat right before bed (tried 'em both - nada). Take sleeping pills (okay - got some from Doc Feely and they help me fall asleep. However, I am awake again in about two hours and then can't fall back asleep. I also have a sleeping pill hangover in the morning. I use them as a last resort).

This falling asleep problem is something that I remember having for a long, long time. It is all my darn mind's fault!

My brother told me that he had similar problems but that they were solved when he started taking "happy pills." He said that he found himself having moments where he wasn't thinking of anything. Really? I have done the "happy pill" thing and have never had any moment where I wasn't thinking of SOMETHING. Huh. Are my pills not strong enough?

I have no idea what the problem is (well, I know it is my brain but why - that is the question!) or what to do to solve it. So - until I figure something out I will continue to enjoy my quiet "thinking" time at night. Listening to Hubby snore. Wishing I was snoring too (not that I snore, of course!).

Being cranky the next morning.

Trisha
P.S. What kind of spell check doesn't recognize the word iPod? Get with it Blogger!

Voice Update: Pretty good. A bit "wunky" on those unvoiced consonants. Had a real time of it last night while walking with Hubby. He has allergies and his ears are blocked. I am not talking too loudly (as usual). He only hears every fourth of fifth word I say. He tells me that he only PAYS ATTENTION to those particular words (silly, silly man!). He keeps asking me to repeat things. When I repeat them, my voice is worse. I get frustrated so I don't talk for most of the walk. Hubby wants to know if I am upset. Ah - such is life with allergies and SD. I did my inhale/exhale stuff yesterday (while grocery shopping!) but didn't do the massage. Oops!

A Sad Blog

Hi All.

Today I am finally writing the blog that I have been putting off for almost two weeks now. As you may know, Hubby and I took a two week cruise to Alaska recently and left our two babies (Q-Tip and Miss Cleo, our kitties) in the very competent hands of two wonderful people. Our neighbor was taking the first shift of cat sitting with a good friend of mine taking the last four days - when Neighbor's vacation overlapped ours.

Both of these people have watched our kitties before with good results. The cats have always been happy and healthy when we returned home. True, the cats didn't always make appearances for the cat sitters but, they always came out the other end none the worse for wear.

This time, however, was a bit different.

This time, our beloved little boy, Q-Tip, not only didn't make an appearance, he died. Neighbor was in charge at the time and when she didn't see Q-Tip she went looking - as always. Normally he hunkers under our bed so she looked there first. She saw something she thought was the cat but it didn't move so . . . she thought she must be mistaken and kept looking.

After a thorough check of all the other hiding places, Neighbor returned again to the bed. This time she looked closer and yes, it was Q-Tip. And no, he wasn't moving. Being a real soft hearted woman, neighbor sort of freaked out. She waited until her husband came home and they investigated again.

Yes, our little boy had passed away.

Neighbor and her husband took care of things and took our baby to the vet's for safe keeping until we got home. They also emailed us to let us know what had happened. This was quite a shock to all of us as Q-Tip was only eight years old and in good health - as far as we knew. He had been to the vet not too long before our vacation and everything was fine.

Hubby and I had a really, really bad night on the cruise after reading that email. We are still having some bad times but are slowly getting better. We are spending a lot of time with Miss Cleo, our remaining kitty, who is missing her brother too.

It is really sad to write about my baby and to remember that he isn't here. I still look around the house at times expecting to see him sitting there watching me. Yesterday I worked upstairs on my podcasts and missed Q-Tip intensely. Normally he would have been right there on the desk next to me the whole time with his fuzzy little belly and insanely long whiskers.

We did talk to the vet when we returned from our cruise and he said that he wasn't sure what had happened. Nothing seemed wrong. He did say that it might have been heart problems. At least he assured us that Q-Tip didn't suffer and that he probably passed away quickly and quietly.

As I type this I find my eyes tearing up as I remember how funny and sweet Q-Tip was. He was our "gentle giant" and we will always remember him.

When does it stop hurting?

Trisha