Hi All!
Another class session has been successfully navigated and there is no damage that I can see! Yeah! Amazingly, the class was really pretty productive. I am not sure if this is the result of the class being smaller now (10 instead of the original 17) or if it is due to the fact that the teacher got some email from her "higher ups" about her teaching methods.
Either way, it was actually almost enjoyable! Amazing!
Yesterday as an "almost" whole went well for me. I had a doctor's appointment with my "general" doctor. This is a yearly appointment and so off I went. Everything checked out okay - even the fact that I see "stars" often. This turns out to be due to the fact that my blood pressure is on the borderline of being low and that I am taking diuretics. I learned some interesting anatomy information during the appointment.
** Just a note for some long term readers. I may have told you about this very same doctor prescribing blood pressure meds to me about three years ago! Of course, that was when I was just starting to deal with my SD and was also having anxiety attacks due to some work situations. Stress really does affect your blood pressure!
After seeing "Doc Feely," as Hubby and I like to call him, I came back home, ate a nice lunch and watched a television show I had recorded. After getting the mail, I found that I had gotten my latest free CD from RBC Ministries - that was VERY exciting for me since I love music AND free things! Then I took a short, 45 minute nap and got ready to head to class. Yes, it was early for class but the group was planning to meet before class to do some work on our group project so . . . off I went.
As I stated previously, class was actually almost enjoyable! Why couldn't the semester have STARTED like this?
Then it was home again (listening to my free CD all the way home!) at the crack of eleven. Can you say, tired?
That, my dear friends, is when the twist came.
Both of my cats were excited I was home. Apparently, Hubby is not a satisfactory replacement for me while I am away. This probably has to do with the fact that he basically pets the cats for ten seconds and then ignores them. Anyway, when I got home both cats were clamoring for attention. I spent several minutes (about 30 or so) petting them and playing with them and just talking to them.
Skor, being quite the Momma's Boy, wanted even more attention so, while I was changing for bed, I picked him up to cuddle him a bit.
This was a BAD idea because Miss Cleo made a noise from the doorway and Skor shot out of my arms and across the bed. Doesn't sound too bad? Okay, picture this. I had just taken off my shirt because I was changing for bed. I was holding Skor and when he shot out of my arms he gathered momentum by pushing off with his back feet. Which have claws on them. Sharp claws.
There are two rather deep "racing stripes" across the right side of my stomach and another two across the inside of my right forearm. There was blood. Not a lot but enough. There was pain. A whole boatload of pain!
Did I mention the pain?
This was slightly compounded by the fact that I am a stomach sleeper. I just can't get to sleep on my back or side. This caused even more problems.
It was just a BAD ending to a pretty good day!
Trisha
Voice Update: I did talk yesterday but I didn't manage to squeeze in my hour of reading. To answer a question, I don't record myself reading right now. I did record myself when I was first getting my "normal" voice back so that my speech therapist could hear how I was doing. Now, I just read. It might be a good idea for me to record a session now and again for my "records" though. I will think about it. Okay - I did exercises but no reading. Today it will be "back on the horse!"
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
It's Got To Be Better . . . .
Hi All!
Was I in a good mood when I posted yesterday? It seems so very long ago that I can't remember! True, I could look back and find out but . . . that just seems to require more energy than I care to expend at the moment!
Yesterday was . . . well . . . it WAS. That is about the best I can say about it. Why? I am glad you asked!
It started with an assignment for class. Of course, I waited until the "last" minute to get everything together so I HAD to do it yesterday. Good planning skills, right? Anyway, I had picked out the video on YouTube that I was going to need and just had to get it onto a DVD to take with me to lab. Since I don't have a video camera I decided to use the next best method - my "regular" camera.
I got my purse camera all ready to go and . . . half way through recording the video (which is five minutes long!), the battery died. I put the battery on to charge and thought, "No problem! I'll just get out my other camera and use it." The other camera needed batteries so I dug those out of the pantry and loaded up the camera. Only to find that something is REALLY wrong and no image can be seen on the screen of the camera OR in the viewfinder. All you see if black with some possible light in different bands across the screen.
What? How did this happen? I haven't used this camera since our cruise to Alaska last summer and it was perfectly fine then! *sigh* Now what do I do?
Checking the charging light on the battery for my purse camera I saw that it wasn't "done" yet. What to do? What to do?
I decided to take my shower first and then see what I could figure out. After the shower I decided to try the purse camera battery even though it wasn't "done." Luckily, it worked and I got the video recorded! Yeah! My day must be getting better!
Loading the video onto the computer, I transferred it to a disc and then loaded up everything I needed to record my interpreting and headed to the lab. Once there I got the video camera and tripod set up. Got the television where you could see it while also seeing me as I interpreted. Then I stuck the disc into the television to play the video.
Nothing! I had accidentally used the wrong disc and the television/dvd player couldn't read the disc! Now what do I do????
The camera and tripod were packed up and returned to the lab and I headed home (quite a drive for NOTHING!). On the way I got gas for my poor SUV which has been running on near fumes for way too long! (Speaking of gas . . . the price jumped 20 cents in two days! What is going on with THAT??) Then I stopped at Wal Mart to do some shopping - as planned. I managed to pick up two camisoles which I think will work well to replace the sleeveless shirts I just put into the "donate" bag over the weekend.
Then it was home. I ate lunch and watched some TV as my mind feverishly worked on how to solve my problem of this darn assignment. After all, I don't have a video camera and, after briefly thinking about getting one while at Wal Mart, I decided that I probably would never use it once I was done with these classes. So - I didn't buy one. I did, however, come up with a plan which I hoped would work.
Now that my purse camera battery was charged (it was on while I was at lab and Wal Mart), I would use that. For a tripod I decided that our ladder would work well. To solve the slight problem of a messy desk, I would drape the desk and the mess with a plain colored sheet. The video would play on my computer and, hopefully, everything would work out!
After totally freaking both kitties out by moving things around - including a ladder - I had everything in place. I set the camera up on the ladder (and on top of a book for the perfect height) and, using the timer, took a picture to make sure that the set up had me in the right place. Then, it was show time!
I started the camera, ran to the computer to start the video, and sat down to interpret. The entire time I was hoping and praying that my camera wouldn't run out of batteries right in the middle of everything!
Again, I was lucky. I managed to record everything twice (the first time wasn't quite right in the set up) and the video was loaded on a DVD (I double checked this time) to be turned in as well as on Facebook to be evaluated by someone from class. Whew!
Let me tell you, after all of that I was ready for a nap! I didn't nap though - you would be proud of me! When Hubby came home we got ready and hit the sidewalks for our nightly walk.
And I got sunburned!
Things just weren't going my way, were they? Today has got to be better. Right?
To cheer myself up, I took some shots of Skor playing with "his" bag last night. They just make me smile.
He always starts just by looking at the toy in the bag. After all, you don't want to let the toy know you are hunting it!
Then he gets a little closer and perks those fuzzy ears up. Again - not too excited. You don't want to spook the toy!
Finally, just when the toy thinks it is safe . . . you POUNCE!
raspy. Probably because my throat gets so dry. I am really working on keeping my voice exercised!
Was I in a good mood when I posted yesterday? It seems so very long ago that I can't remember! True, I could look back and find out but . . . that just seems to require more energy than I care to expend at the moment!
Yesterday was . . . well . . . it WAS. That is about the best I can say about it. Why? I am glad you asked!
It started with an assignment for class. Of course, I waited until the "last" minute to get everything together so I HAD to do it yesterday. Good planning skills, right? Anyway, I had picked out the video on YouTube that I was going to need and just had to get it onto a DVD to take with me to lab. Since I don't have a video camera I decided to use the next best method - my "regular" camera.
I got my purse camera all ready to go and . . . half way through recording the video (which is five minutes long!), the battery died. I put the battery on to charge and thought, "No problem! I'll just get out my other camera and use it." The other camera needed batteries so I dug those out of the pantry and loaded up the camera. Only to find that something is REALLY wrong and no image can be seen on the screen of the camera OR in the viewfinder. All you see if black with some possible light in different bands across the screen.
What? How did this happen? I haven't used this camera since our cruise to Alaska last summer and it was perfectly fine then! *sigh* Now what do I do?
Checking the charging light on the battery for my purse camera I saw that it wasn't "done" yet. What to do? What to do?
I decided to take my shower first and then see what I could figure out. After the shower I decided to try the purse camera battery even though it wasn't "done." Luckily, it worked and I got the video recorded! Yeah! My day must be getting better!
Loading the video onto the computer, I transferred it to a disc and then loaded up everything I needed to record my interpreting and headed to the lab. Once there I got the video camera and tripod set up. Got the television where you could see it while also seeing me as I interpreted. Then I stuck the disc into the television to play the video.
Nothing! I had accidentally used the wrong disc and the television/dvd player couldn't read the disc! Now what do I do????
The camera and tripod were packed up and returned to the lab and I headed home (quite a drive for NOTHING!). On the way I got gas for my poor SUV which has been running on near fumes for way too long! (Speaking of gas . . . the price jumped 20 cents in two days! What is going on with THAT??) Then I stopped at Wal Mart to do some shopping - as planned. I managed to pick up two camisoles which I think will work well to replace the sleeveless shirts I just put into the "donate" bag over the weekend.
Then it was home. I ate lunch and watched some TV as my mind feverishly worked on how to solve my problem of this darn assignment. After all, I don't have a video camera and, after briefly thinking about getting one while at Wal Mart, I decided that I probably would never use it once I was done with these classes. So - I didn't buy one. I did, however, come up with a plan which I hoped would work.
Now that my purse camera battery was charged (it was on while I was at lab and Wal Mart), I would use that. For a tripod I decided that our ladder would work well. To solve the slight problem of a messy desk, I would drape the desk and the mess with a plain colored sheet. The video would play on my computer and, hopefully, everything would work out!
After totally freaking both kitties out by moving things around - including a ladder - I had everything in place. I set the camera up on the ladder (and on top of a book for the perfect height) and, using the timer, took a picture to make sure that the set up had me in the right place. Then, it was show time!
I started the camera, ran to the computer to start the video, and sat down to interpret. The entire time I was hoping and praying that my camera wouldn't run out of batteries right in the middle of everything!
Again, I was lucky. I managed to record everything twice (the first time wasn't quite right in the set up) and the video was loaded on a DVD (I double checked this time) to be turned in as well as on Facebook to be evaluated by someone from class. Whew!
Let me tell you, after all of that I was ready for a nap! I didn't nap though - you would be proud of me! When Hubby came home we got ready and hit the sidewalks for our nightly walk.
And I got sunburned!
Things just weren't going my way, were they? Today has got to be better. Right?
To cheer myself up, I took some shots of Skor playing with "his" bag last night. They just make me smile.
He always starts just by looking at the toy in the bag. After all, you don't want to let the toy know you are hunting it!
Then he gets a little closer and perks those fuzzy ears up. Again - not too excited. You don't want to spook the toy!
Finally, just when the toy thinks it is safe . . . you POUNCE!
How can you not smile at the sight of the cat in the bag?
Have a great Wednesday!
Trisha
Voice Update: Still doing my exercises and reading. Things are going well, I think. Hubby says my voice is sounding good. I do have some problems while reading though. My voice feels like it israspy. Probably because my throat gets so dry. I am really working on keeping my voice exercised!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Shhhh! The Boss is Here!
Hi All!
I need to be careful what I say today because "the boss" is sitting here closely observing my work.
My walk this morning was lovely. The sky was overcast so I didn't get too heated by the sun and there was a brisk breeze.
Anyway - my neighbors' tulips are in full bloom. They are quite lovely all in white. I tried to get a close up of one of the tulips but it was impossible this morning due to the wind! All of my pictures were blurry because the flower was being blown around!
Most of the daffodils along my route are now in decline. *sigh* It is sad but . . . I guess that is the way it goes!
The Bluebonnet patch is still doing really well. It seems like each day there are more and more blooms.
They are so pretty. I always have to stop for a minute and take the sight in.
You can tell from these pictures that the light was changing during the walk. The sun would peek out from behind a cloud (like in this picture) and then hide again (like in the last picture). It certainly makes taking pictures "interesting!"
I need to be careful what I say today because "the boss" is sitting here closely observing my work.
Luckily, he nods off for a short nap now and again!
My walk this morning was lovely. The sky was overcast so I didn't get too heated by the sun and there was a brisk breeze.
Of course, here it seems like there is ALWAYS a brisk breeze. Sometimes it is so "brisk" that it makes it tough to walk! I guess that is Texas for you!
Anyway - my neighbors' tulips are in full bloom. They are quite lovely all in white. I tried to get a close up of one of the tulips but it was impossible this morning due to the wind! All of my pictures were blurry because the flower was being blown around!
Most of the daffodils along my route are now in decline. *sigh* It is sad but . . . I guess that is the way it goes!
The Bluebonnet patch is still doing really well. It seems like each day there are more and more blooms.
They are so pretty. I always have to stop for a minute and take the sight in.
You can tell from these pictures that the light was changing during the walk. The sun would peek out from behind a cloud (like in this picture) and then hide again (like in the last picture). It certainly makes taking pictures "interesting!"
This morning while walking I listened to my daily devotion podcast as usual and it really struck home. It was all about perseverance and how God uses obstacles in your life to bring you closer to him. It flashed in my mind that my SD is being used for just such a reason.
gdhs
As I struggle to maintain my hard-won voice and to understand why I have to deal with this, I find myself turning to God and to scripture more and more.
sfgh
I also believe that God is using my SD to teach me. Having SD has forced me out of my comfort zone many, many times. It has made me more helpful to others and more understanding of the various problems people have. I have also started my American Sign Language path and have met a wide variety of people while doing that. So much good from something which, at first, seemed to be nothing but bad.
sfgh
God certainly does work in mysterious ways!
sfgh
Today I will be heading to the ASL lab to record myself interpreting a cartoon called "Crawford the Cat Brushes His Teeth." It seemed like something fun and different to interpret. It isn't too hard either - which is always a good thing!
sfgh
After that I will probably hit Wal Mart to do some grocery shopping. Doesn't that sound like fun? I think I will also look to see what their supply of shorts looks like. I might need some new ones this year. It never hurts to look, right?
sfgh
Hope you have a fabulous day yourself!
sfgh
Trisha
sfg
P.S. I seem to be over the worst of my crankiness. This is probably because I am working on my voice and it is showing improvement. I do continue to have some anxiety about my voice but I am working on getting rid of that!
sfgfgh
Voice Update: My voice is doing pretty well. It is getting stronger in some ways thanks to my reading out loud but those darned unvoiced consonants are continuing to be a hassle and a half! I am finding myself planning what I say so that I don't start sentences with words that give me problems. It isn't all bad though - it does force me to think before I talk!
Monday, April 5, 2010
How Can I Not Be Happy?
Hi All!
Okay - I was cranky on Saturday and after going back to bed for a long nap and getting up again - I was still cranky. I think it is just going to take some time for me to adjust to having Mr. Timer around all the time and to the fact that the job that I didn't particularly want was actually helping me!
Now I am in a much better mood. This is due in part to the fact that I got to see this during two worship services on Easter Sunday.
Okay - I was cranky on Saturday and after going back to bed for a long nap and getting up again - I was still cranky. I think it is just going to take some time for me to adjust to having Mr. Timer around all the time and to the fact that the job that I didn't particularly want was actually helping me!
Now I am in a much better mood. This is due in part to the fact that I got to see this during two worship services on Easter Sunday.
How can you possibly be cranky looking at such a pretty thing? Of course, remembering that Jesus died on a cross to save the world from sin helps a lot too!
sfdg
The weekend was pretty slow - thanks to my nap to try to chase away to "grumpies." It was nice and relaxing.
sfg
I did make sure to do my oral reading on Sunday even though I only got about ten minutes in on Saturday (it is tough to read when you are sleeping!). Hubby has been so very good at helping to remind me to read and to do my exercises. He is hoping that doing these things will improve my voice enough that I don't get grumpy again!
sfg
Good luck with that, Hubby!
Have a super week and - happy belated Easter!
sg
Trisha
sfg
Voice Update: Actually, my voice seems to be improving slowly with the oral reading. I am still struggling with the unvoiced consonants (gee - doesn't that sound familiar??) but, even those are getting better. Now, I can say most of them with no problems when they are in the middle of a sentence. The beginning of a sentence - not so much. Mr. Timer and I are getting settled into a nice little reading routine even though he has had to fight off Skor who wants to chew on him!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Cranky!
Hi All!
This morning I am cranky.
I feel mean.
I feel like growling at someone/something.
Leaving my bed wasn't something I wanted to do -at 7:00 A.M. when the cats wanted me to watch them eat or at 8:00 A.M. when I agreed to meet Mom on IM.
Walking? What a joke! I decided to sleep in (hoping that a little extra sleep would make me less cranky - it didn't work).
Hubby, who is trying hard to stay out of the path of my crankiness, has helpfully told me that he thinks I am so cranky because of my voice.
After growling at him (in the most loving way that I could manage) I decided that he was absolutely correct. The worst thing about that is that I didn't figure that out for myself. Honestly! You would think that at this point in my "dance" with SD I would be able to tell when it was stepping all over my toes and making me cranky. Apparently, I can't. That makes me even MORE cranky!
The cats have figured out that I am in a less than good "place" at the moment and they have both decided to leave me alone. For once I am alone while I sit in the office. It is a minor miracle!
Of course, I wish that I wasn't cranky. I don't like feeling cranky.
I think I will go back to bed for a while and try to wake up with a completely new attitude.
Do you think it will work?
Trisha
Voice Update: Actually, my voice is doing better. Hubby has told me that it seems like my regime is helping to strengthen my voice again. Mr. Timer and I are still working on my reading and I am striving to do my inhalation exercises and massage at least four times a day. The massage is a bit of a problem because my neck is still a little sore from Susan's work over! I AM doing the massage though.
This morning I am cranky.
I feel mean.
I feel like growling at someone/something.
Leaving my bed wasn't something I wanted to do -at 7:00 A.M. when the cats wanted me to watch them eat or at 8:00 A.M. when I agreed to meet Mom on IM.
Walking? What a joke! I decided to sleep in (hoping that a little extra sleep would make me less cranky - it didn't work).
Hubby, who is trying hard to stay out of the path of my crankiness, has helpfully told me that he thinks I am so cranky because of my voice.
After growling at him (in the most loving way that I could manage) I decided that he was absolutely correct. The worst thing about that is that I didn't figure that out for myself. Honestly! You would think that at this point in my "dance" with SD I would be able to tell when it was stepping all over my toes and making me cranky. Apparently, I can't. That makes me even MORE cranky!
The cats have figured out that I am in a less than good "place" at the moment and they have both decided to leave me alone. For once I am alone while I sit in the office. It is a minor miracle!
Of course, I wish that I wasn't cranky. I don't like feeling cranky.
I think I will go back to bed for a while and try to wake up with a completely new attitude.
Do you think it will work?
Trisha
Voice Update: Actually, my voice is doing better. Hubby has told me that it seems like my regime is helping to strengthen my voice again. Mr. Timer and I are still working on my reading and I am striving to do my inhalation exercises and massage at least four times a day. The massage is a bit of a problem because my neck is still a little sore from Susan's work over! I AM doing the massage though.
Friday, April 2, 2010
He's Back!
If you would like to learn more about Spasmodic Dysphonia (or maybe would like to make a charitable donation!) please go to The National Spasmodic Dysphonia Association.
Hi All!
Well, he's back!
Yes, it is Mr. Timer!
hjkl
Oh, how I have missed him. NOT!
ghk
For those of you who may not remember Mr. Timer, here is his story.
ghk
When I was still really struggling with my voice I was rather . . . intent (okay, obsessive) about my vocal exercises. Susan, my speech therapist, told me to them three or four times a day but that doing them more would only help. Enter Mr. Timer.
ghj
I decided that I would need something to remind me to do my exercises and I dug Mr. Timer out of my school stuff.
fgjh
I set this "friend" for an hour and then went about my daily routine. Every time the timer went off, I stopped whatever I was doing and did my exercises. Then I reset the timer and continued doing whatever I was doing.
ghkl
Every day, all day long I carried Mr. Timer around with me listening for that beep which meant that I needed to do my exercises. Every day. All the time. Imagine how "fun" that soon became!
dfgh
However, I persisted and did this for well over a year as my voice gradually progressed.
xfgh
When Susan finally told me that I could cut back on my exercises, Mr. Timer went into semi-retirement. I was still doing oral reading and so he helped me make sure I did the correct amount of reading each day.
fgjh
Soon, I decided that Mr. Timer could totally retire. He was shoved into a drawer where I pretty much ignored him until his battery ran down and he "freaked out." Instead of taking Mr. time out of the drawer, replacing the battery and then using him, I yanked the battery out and shoved him back in the drawer.
fgjk
He is such a tangible reminder of the "bad times" I have had with my voice.
fgk
Now it is time to bring out Mr. Timer and dust him off (and give him a fresh battery) so that he can help me with my exercises as I strive to fend off the vocal decline which appears to think it will take over.
ghjk
Mr. Timer. I have such a love/hate relationship with him.
ghkl
Trisha
ghkl
Voice Update: With the help of Mr. Timer, I read out loud for at least an hour and a half. I also managed to talk to the cats and myself for a long time as I puttered around the house. When Hubby came home we went walking and I talked most of that time too. This isn't to say that I didn't have my times of silence - I did. I took a nap and then read silently after Mr. Timer said I had read for an hour. Hubby said my voice seemed to be better! Yeah! It must work!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Some Somber SD Stuff
For more information about Spasmodic Dysphonia, go to The National Spasmodic Dysphonia Association's website. While there you might consider making a donation to help fund research on this disorder.
Hi All!
If you read my blog regularly, you know that I have a vocal disorder called Abductor Spasmodic Dysphonia. To review for anyone who isn't a regular reader (and why wouldn't you be??), Spasmodic Dysphonia, commonly called SD, is a neurological disorder in which the nerves connected to the muscles controlling the vocal cords somehow get the message to "freak out." That isn't a medical term but, that is basically what happens. The nerves tell the muscles to spasm and this causes problems. BIG problems.
The most common type of SD is ADductor. This means that the muscles which are spasming are the muscles which close the vocal cords. The spasms cause the muscles to basically "slam the vocal cords shut." Having the cords slammed tightly shut makes it difficult to get air past the cords which, in turn, makes it difficult to speak. A person who has ADSD sounds like he/she is being strangled from the inside.
The second type of SD, ABductor SD (which is the kind I have), means that the muscles which are spasming are the muscles which open the vocal cords. The spasms cause the muscles to hold the cords open and not let them close. Since it is vital to have the cords vibrate near each other in order to create the sound of a voice, people who have ABSD have difficulty talking. They sound like they are whispering all the time.
There are also combinations of the two types of SD in which the muscles controlling BOTH functions of the vocal cords spasm. Also, you can have a tremor thrown in for good measure which causes your voice to tremble.
Luckily, my ABSD is pretty straight forward. I was diagnosed in January of 2007 even though my symptoms started long before then. My ABSD was so bad that I didn't have any voice at all and, in fact, believed for a long time that I would NEVER speak normally again.
** During the period when I assumed that I wouldn't speak normally again I learned to speak utilizing a technique called Inhalation Voicing. I am not going to get into that in this post but, if you would like to know more about this, check out some of my previous SD posts or leave me a comment.
Through many months of pretty intense speech therapy I was blessed to actually recover pretty much all of my normal voice. Both my speech therapist and I are amazed. We think it is a mix of a miracle and hard work.
**Again, I have covered this part of the process in previous SD posts and won't detail it here.
Anyway, for the past couple of years I have been blessed with a pretty much normal voice. Of course, I continue to go to speech therapy and I continue to do my vocal exercises. There have been times when I have taken a few steps backwards mixed with some pretty incredible good times. SD is something that I wish I could forget but, each and every time I start to forget (and consequently lessen my exercises), SD returns to remind me that the two of us will be entwined in the dance of life for the rest of my life.
This fact was brought back to me once more yesterday when I had my speech therapy appointment.
In the past several weeks my life has changed a bit. The major change is that I stopped working as temporary secretary/receptionist/office manager/mother for my speech therapist and her three colleagues. This temporary job lasted about 9 months and I am thrilled to no longer have it because I can now focus on my classes and my poor, neglected kitties. However, this change in my working status also brought about a change in my daily vocal use.
My voice doesn't respond well to overuse but, apparently, it likes being used more than staying home and studying uses it. When I saw my speech therapist, Susan, yesterday she told me that my voice was declining. Declining! After all the blood, sweat, and tears I have put into it (okay - not really blood but the other two are quite literal)!
Can you imagine how upset/depressed I was?
True, there are things I can do to counteract this decline and I WILL be doing them. In fact, I have already started. BUT - it is not a good feeling to find out that your voice, which you recently didn't have at all, is declining. It makes you think - "I am going back to having no voice!" This thought is not exactly accurate because even if my voice declines it is unlikely that I will totally lose it again. BUT - still!
Yesterday wasn't a good day!
Trisha
Voice Update: Since this entire post is basically an update, I will use this space to let you know what I am doing to counteract this decline in my voice. First, I am continuing to be the local "Crazy Lady" by talking to myself all the time so my voice gets more work. Next, I am going to amp up my exercises (which I had already started to do when I realized what was going on). Then, I am going to make sure that on Wednesdays when I have class - which is American Sign Language and doesn't utilize my voice - that I find opportunities to use my voice more. I have already talked to my classmates about this and they are helping me out with this. They are SOOOOO sweet! Finally, I am going to return to my previous practice of reading out loud. I am not sure if I will record it like I previously did but, I will try to get at least two hours of reading in per day. Whew. Seeing it all laid out like that makes me tired! Just so you know - I am NOT sorry that I quit the job. I needed to focus on class. I just need to make some "adjustments!"
Hi All!
If you read my blog regularly, you know that I have a vocal disorder called Abductor Spasmodic Dysphonia. To review for anyone who isn't a regular reader (and why wouldn't you be??), Spasmodic Dysphonia, commonly called SD, is a neurological disorder in which the nerves connected to the muscles controlling the vocal cords somehow get the message to "freak out." That isn't a medical term but, that is basically what happens. The nerves tell the muscles to spasm and this causes problems. BIG problems.
The most common type of SD is ADductor. This means that the muscles which are spasming are the muscles which close the vocal cords. The spasms cause the muscles to basically "slam the vocal cords shut." Having the cords slammed tightly shut makes it difficult to get air past the cords which, in turn, makes it difficult to speak. A person who has ADSD sounds like he/she is being strangled from the inside.
The second type of SD, ABductor SD (which is the kind I have), means that the muscles which are spasming are the muscles which open the vocal cords. The spasms cause the muscles to hold the cords open and not let them close. Since it is vital to have the cords vibrate near each other in order to create the sound of a voice, people who have ABSD have difficulty talking. They sound like they are whispering all the time.
There are also combinations of the two types of SD in which the muscles controlling BOTH functions of the vocal cords spasm. Also, you can have a tremor thrown in for good measure which causes your voice to tremble.
Luckily, my ABSD is pretty straight forward. I was diagnosed in January of 2007 even though my symptoms started long before then. My ABSD was so bad that I didn't have any voice at all and, in fact, believed for a long time that I would NEVER speak normally again.
** During the period when I assumed that I wouldn't speak normally again I learned to speak utilizing a technique called Inhalation Voicing. I am not going to get into that in this post but, if you would like to know more about this, check out some of my previous SD posts or leave me a comment.
Through many months of pretty intense speech therapy I was blessed to actually recover pretty much all of my normal voice. Both my speech therapist and I are amazed. We think it is a mix of a miracle and hard work.
**Again, I have covered this part of the process in previous SD posts and won't detail it here.
Anyway, for the past couple of years I have been blessed with a pretty much normal voice. Of course, I continue to go to speech therapy and I continue to do my vocal exercises. There have been times when I have taken a few steps backwards mixed with some pretty incredible good times. SD is something that I wish I could forget but, each and every time I start to forget (and consequently lessen my exercises), SD returns to remind me that the two of us will be entwined in the dance of life for the rest of my life.
This fact was brought back to me once more yesterday when I had my speech therapy appointment.
In the past several weeks my life has changed a bit. The major change is that I stopped working as temporary secretary/receptionist/office manager/mother for my speech therapist and her three colleagues. This temporary job lasted about 9 months and I am thrilled to no longer have it because I can now focus on my classes and my poor, neglected kitties. However, this change in my working status also brought about a change in my daily vocal use.
My voice doesn't respond well to overuse but, apparently, it likes being used more than staying home and studying uses it. When I saw my speech therapist, Susan, yesterday she told me that my voice was declining. Declining! After all the blood, sweat, and tears I have put into it (okay - not really blood but the other two are quite literal)!
Can you imagine how upset/depressed I was?
True, there are things I can do to counteract this decline and I WILL be doing them. In fact, I have already started. BUT - it is not a good feeling to find out that your voice, which you recently didn't have at all, is declining. It makes you think - "I am going back to having no voice!" This thought is not exactly accurate because even if my voice declines it is unlikely that I will totally lose it again. BUT - still!
Yesterday wasn't a good day!
Trisha
Voice Update: Since this entire post is basically an update, I will use this space to let you know what I am doing to counteract this decline in my voice. First, I am continuing to be the local "Crazy Lady" by talking to myself all the time so my voice gets more work. Next, I am going to amp up my exercises (which I had already started to do when I realized what was going on). Then, I am going to make sure that on Wednesdays when I have class - which is American Sign Language and doesn't utilize my voice - that I find opportunities to use my voice more. I have already talked to my classmates about this and they are helping me out with this. They are SOOOOO sweet! Finally, I am going to return to my previous practice of reading out loud. I am not sure if I will record it like I previously did but, I will try to get at least two hours of reading in per day. Whew. Seeing it all laid out like that makes me tired! Just so you know - I am NOT sorry that I quit the job. I needed to focus on class. I just need to make some "adjustments!"
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